My favorite Sex and the City quote of all time, from Samantha Jones, “You can’t go listening to every f****** little voice that runs through your head, it’ll drive you nuts” 🙌
I love this! I was so excited about this topic that I speed-read it. I’m going to bring this into therapy sessions with my clients. For me, when I was really struggling with social anxiety and fear of embarrassing myself, my life-changing question was: “What is it going to matter in 5 years?”
I’m so glad you enjoyed it! I love that you’re bringing this into your therapy sessions—it's such a valuable tool. The question “What is it going to matter in 5 years?” is powerful for gaining perspective. It really helps to put things in context. I hope it resonates with your clients as much as it has with you! 💖
I can totally relate to that feeling of being stuck in a hamster wheel of thoughts. It’s so easy to get caught up in what we think we should be feeling or doing. I love your question, “Who told you that?”—such a simple yet powerful way to challenge those anxious thoughts! I’ve had my own struggles with overthinking, and sometimes I catch myself spiraling over things that don’t even matter in the long run. I’ve also learned to embrace questioning everything, which has helped me grow and become a healthier person. It’s all part of the “Am I there yet?” perspective I love to explore!
Thank you so much! I completely understand—it’s tough to put those feelings into words sometimes. I’m really glad the post could resonate with you and help start your day on a good note. Wishing you all the best as well!
Very well written and helpful, Stephanie, about predicaments so wide spread and often so debilitating, and I think even more so in our social media fueled society (though so far Substack has felt more benign). There’s never been more potential triggers surrounding us, and I’ve certainly felt my share. I believe most of us increasingly live in ways in part unnatural for humans. Just the noise pollution in our modern world, alone, a most often neglected topic, can be very anxiety triggering.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful response! You’re absolutely right—our modern, social media-fueled world brings so many triggers, and I agree that the constant noise, both literal and figurative, can have such an impact on our anxiety. It feels like we’re always navigating distractions that weren’t meant for us. I’m glad you found the piece helpful, and I really appreciate your reflections on this!
Mustard can relate to this so much. They have a lot of social anxiety and get overwhelmed easily in big crowds. This perspective and your framing will help them tremendously. Thank you as always.
I’m so glad to hear that! Social anxiety can be really tough, especially in large crowds. I hope the perspective shared in my post brings some comfort and practical tools. We all have our struggles, and it’s reassuring to know we’re not alone in this. Thank you for your kind words, and I’m always here to support! 💛
It really can. Even large family functions they find overwhelming. It is hard for them to concrete. They want to be able to hear all conversations but have trouble knowing who to focus on. It is something new they’ve learned about themselves. Your post has brought them a lot of comfort. 💛 Really do appreciate you!
What a FANTASTIC piece! I am so glad I took the time to read this! As someone who spends too much time overthinking as I have come to challenge them I am noticing how many of my thoughts when I overthink are fear based. I am definitely adding this powerful and simple practice of asking myself "Who told me that" when I challenge my overthinking thoughts!
Thank you so much for your kind words! I’m really glad you found the piece helpful. It’s eye-opening to realize how often our overthinking is rooted in fear. I hope the practice of asking “Who told me that?” brings you clarity and peace as you navigate those thoughts. It’s all about creating space for our true selves. I’d love to hear how it goes for you! 💖
Great post! Most of the time my answer is my ego which helps because I know my ego is insecure and has an IQ of 12.
Another questioning tactic I like to trick myself with so I have to use rational over emotional reasoning is, “what would I tell someone else in this same circumstance?”
Thank you! I love that insight about your ego—it’s a great reminder to not take those thoughts too seriously. The tactic of asking yourself what you’d advise someone else is such a powerful way to shift from emotional to rational thinking. It really helps put things in perspective! I appreciate you sharing that. Keep challenging those thoughts!
Thank you for your lovely words! It’s amazing how much clarity we can find when we take a moment to look inward. I'm so glad you’re embracing this practice right away! I hope it brings you the insight and peace you're looking for.
This is a great post! I often ask myself this question in lots of difference scenarios. I’ve found it’s also helpful when internalising what you think about yourself. I have thoughts / beliefs that I used to think were my own but turns out they’re somebody else’s because in fact, someone else did tell me these things and I just believed them 😂
Thank you for sharing that. It sounds like you’ve really taken the time to reflect on your experience and how you worked through it. I’ve heard about Claire Weekes and her approach—her emphasis on accepting and even inviting anxiety as a way to diminish its power is such a fascinating perspective. It’s amazing how timeless some of her advice is, even compared to modern self-help.
I’m sorry you went through such a rough time in 2020. Losing a parent is such a profound event, and it often stirs up so much more than just grief for the person we’ve lost—like family dynamics or unresolved tensions. It’s a lot to carry.
I think it’s insightful how you noted that negative thoughts can disrupt the day but don’t necessarily point to something deeper like anxiety. Everyone experiences challenges differently, and it’s great you found a way to quiet those thoughts through reading and understanding them better.
I’m doing okay, thank you for asking. It’s always a process, isn’t it? Wishing you continued peace and calm moments. 😊
My favorite Sex and the City quote of all time, from Samantha Jones, “You can’t go listening to every f****** little voice that runs through your head, it’ll drive you nuts” 🙌
YESSSSSS!
I love this! I was so excited about this topic that I speed-read it. I’m going to bring this into therapy sessions with my clients. For me, when I was really struggling with social anxiety and fear of embarrassing myself, my life-changing question was: “What is it going to matter in 5 years?”
I’m so glad you enjoyed it! I love that you’re bringing this into your therapy sessions—it's such a valuable tool. The question “What is it going to matter in 5 years?” is powerful for gaining perspective. It really helps to put things in context. I hope it resonates with your clients as much as it has with you! 💖
Just read this to my partner who had anxiety and OCD. Thank you for this post. 🩶
Wow, this is so sweet. Thank you for sharing 🩵
I can totally relate to that feeling of being stuck in a hamster wheel of thoughts. It’s so easy to get caught up in what we think we should be feeling or doing. I love your question, “Who told you that?”—such a simple yet powerful way to challenge those anxious thoughts! I’ve had my own struggles with overthinking, and sometimes I catch myself spiraling over things that don’t even matter in the long run. I’ve also learned to embrace questioning everything, which has helped me grow and become a healthier person. It’s all part of the “Am I there yet?” perspective I love to explore!
This is such a refreshing idea - I can see how it could be incredibly powerful and look forward to trying it. Thank you Stephanie!
I will definitely be trying this, thank you for sharing!
Best of luck! I hope it helps 🩵
Well said, Stephanie!
I've struggled with this for almost as long as I can remember. It's difficult to word how it feels.
Thank you for helping to get my day off to a good start!
All the best:)
Thank you so much! I completely understand—it’s tough to put those feelings into words sometimes. I’m really glad the post could resonate with you and help start your day on a good note. Wishing you all the best as well!
this. so so so much this.
I’m so glad this resonated with you—thank you for sharing that! It means a lot to know it connected. 💛
Very well written and helpful, Stephanie, about predicaments so wide spread and often so debilitating, and I think even more so in our social media fueled society (though so far Substack has felt more benign). There’s never been more potential triggers surrounding us, and I’ve certainly felt my share. I believe most of us increasingly live in ways in part unnatural for humans. Just the noise pollution in our modern world, alone, a most often neglected topic, can be very anxiety triggering.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful response! You’re absolutely right—our modern, social media-fueled world brings so many triggers, and I agree that the constant noise, both literal and figurative, can have such an impact on our anxiety. It feels like we’re always navigating distractions that weren’t meant for us. I’m glad you found the piece helpful, and I really appreciate your reflections on this!
As a chronic overthinker, I'm gonna give this "Who told you that" a try.
Let me know how it goes! 🩵
Mustard can relate to this so much. They have a lot of social anxiety and get overwhelmed easily in big crowds. This perspective and your framing will help them tremendously. Thank you as always.
I’m so glad to hear that! Social anxiety can be really tough, especially in large crowds. I hope the perspective shared in my post brings some comfort and practical tools. We all have our struggles, and it’s reassuring to know we’re not alone in this. Thank you for your kind words, and I’m always here to support! 💛
It really can. Even large family functions they find overwhelming. It is hard for them to concrete. They want to be able to hear all conversations but have trouble knowing who to focus on. It is something new they’ve learned about themselves. Your post has brought them a lot of comfort. 💛 Really do appreciate you!
What a FANTASTIC piece! I am so glad I took the time to read this! As someone who spends too much time overthinking as I have come to challenge them I am noticing how many of my thoughts when I overthink are fear based. I am definitely adding this powerful and simple practice of asking myself "Who told me that" when I challenge my overthinking thoughts!
Thank you so much for your kind words! I’m really glad you found the piece helpful. It’s eye-opening to realize how often our overthinking is rooted in fear. I hope the practice of asking “Who told me that?” brings you clarity and peace as you navigate those thoughts. It’s all about creating space for our true selves. I’d love to hear how it goes for you! 💖
Thank you! I totally agree, the path to our truest selves may bring up fears but those fears don’t have to stop us in our tracks!
Oh I am sure a piece is coming with my progress on this girl don’t you worry!
Great post! Most of the time my answer is my ego which helps because I know my ego is insecure and has an IQ of 12.
Another questioning tactic I like to trick myself with so I have to use rational over emotional reasoning is, “what would I tell someone else in this same circumstance?”
Thank you! I love that insight about your ego—it’s a great reminder to not take those thoughts too seriously. The tactic of asking yourself what you’d advise someone else is such a powerful way to shift from emotional to rational thinking. It really helps put things in perspective! I appreciate you sharing that. Keep challenging those thoughts!
I see you so clearly. All I have to do is look in the mirror.
Thank you for this brain hack. I’m starting to do that immediately
Thank you for your lovely words! It’s amazing how much clarity we can find when we take a moment to look inward. I'm so glad you’re embracing this practice right away! I hope it brings you the insight and peace you're looking for.
I’m also going to feature this article in a future issue of This Week In Leadership (12k subs)
Thank you, Jeff!
This is a great post! I often ask myself this question in lots of difference scenarios. I’ve found it’s also helpful when internalising what you think about yourself. I have thoughts / beliefs that I used to think were my own but turns out they’re somebody else’s because in fact, someone else did tell me these things and I just believed them 😂
Yes, exactly this! Thank you for sharing 💜
Thank you for sharing that. It sounds like you’ve really taken the time to reflect on your experience and how you worked through it. I’ve heard about Claire Weekes and her approach—her emphasis on accepting and even inviting anxiety as a way to diminish its power is such a fascinating perspective. It’s amazing how timeless some of her advice is, even compared to modern self-help.
I’m sorry you went through such a rough time in 2020. Losing a parent is such a profound event, and it often stirs up so much more than just grief for the person we’ve lost—like family dynamics or unresolved tensions. It’s a lot to carry.
I think it’s insightful how you noted that negative thoughts can disrupt the day but don’t necessarily point to something deeper like anxiety. Everyone experiences challenges differently, and it’s great you found a way to quiet those thoughts through reading and understanding them better.
I’m doing okay, thank you for asking. It’s always a process, isn’t it? Wishing you continued peace and calm moments. 😊